2015 Manifesto Pledge.

by agentnaz

My 2015 non-partisan manifesto.

2015 Manifesto Pledge

2015 Manifesto Pledge

  • Tougher clamp downs on yoghurt advertising.
  • Ban airbrushed images of celebrities.
  • Ban celebrities.
  • Everyone must walk on the left. If you’re not sure where you’re going, stay at home until you’ve made up your mind.
  • Families will be limited to one dickhead per household.
  • House of Lords will be disbanded and replaced with a repeating episode of Jim Hensen’s Muppet Show.
  • Wednesday will be renamed to Shitday. Let’s be honest about what kind of day it really is.
  • Thursday will be renamed to FFSday.
  • All bus timetables will be replaced with the words ‘A bus will be along at some point. Just wait. (Might be tomorrow).’
  • Hedgehogs to be reinstated.
  • Free parking (except on Shitdays and double rate on FFSdays)
  • Ban cars
  • Katie Hopkins to be sent to Mars, to oversee colonisation plans.
  • Mars Colonisation budget to be scrapped.
  • More dogs in the workplace
  • More to follow…
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